Another oldie. 2005

December 05
never trust a f***ing junkie
Saw junkie boy for the first time in six weeks this weekend. He spent the last month getting clean. But of course he's pissed as a billygoat when he shows up here. Fuckin junkies. Never trust em.
Still, he's good in the sack, so really...what can a girl do?
Cause fuck a good lay is few and far between. I meet a lot of guys around town. A lot of guys. There are a rare few who are at least articulate enough to peak my interest. And then you meet them and they smell of soup. They smell exactly like beef barley soup.
Or some shit like that.
It's ridiculous.
Ridiculous out there.
They show up in mustangs and rev the engine as i walk up to the passenger door. They wear bad shoes and cologne that makes me gag. They have chains around their necks and tattoos of panthers on their shoulders. Their ass hair is like a finely woven persian rug with a super high thread count. And they stick their tongues down my throat as if i were a mother bird and they were trying to encourage me to regurgitate my dinner and nourish them.
Why are so many people such horrible kissers? I mean, doesn't it feel awkeward to them?
But then there's someone that's just perfect. Someone that shudders when I lick their earlobe. Someone who knows when to use their tongue and when to softly press. Someone who smells like my favorite place, and who looks like that guy in the dream I had a couple years ago and I can still kinda half remember. And one night we take the dogs out to pee in the backyard and he's standing there in the glow of the light from the apartment next door in his too-small sweater with his hair all messed up at the back from laying in my bed and it just makes my heart smile.
And then the next day he's gone. For a month. And he shows up ten pounds lighter, shaking like a leaf and looking like hell. And he tells mr that he's not doing this to make me mad or to hurt me, he's just had a rough couple weeks.
And I smile and ruffle his hair. And then i fuck the shit out of him. Cause goddamn, i like it when he does that thing with his fingers....
And it's ridiculous out there, you know.